Keep pretending..

Dear Mr. Cloud,

I haven't been blogging lately. It's because I have been so upset, I do think of blogging but it would hurt so much to think of stuff. I don't know what to do, I don't want to go do black friday with Kathleen, I don't want to feel upset all the time, I don't want to keep faking that I am fuckin' happy because I am not! & I know I'm not. I want to be able to smile and be like "Oh look, it's my first real smile in three years!" It hurts knowing how fake I am. I mean I do tell my feelings and I do show them, I just hate how I still smile and act like I'm fine in front of him. Really, I'm just pissed at my life. I dont get why people could be so mean and so clueless at times. I mean if you dont liek me tell me I dont want to keep falling for you, everyday, everynight, every second of my life. I just keep falling and falling and then one day my heart is going to fall onto a bunch of needles and I would have to try to recover from the injury little by little. I just wish things were better. Oh well, at lease my friends are happy <3
11/4 & 11/20. <3
You guys are the cutest. Now Jenny! :D